Guess what, everyone? I’ve finally found the first thing I actually despise about Skyrim!
Admittedly, it did take a while. The game deserves to be praised for how long I could go without being pissed off at something, but it did finally happen. The culprit?
The horses in this game are somehow courageous to the point of stupid and also wimpy to a most shameful degree.
The horses, for whatever reason, take it upon themselves to attack your foes on their own, instead of staying put when you get off them. They sprint valiantly into battle and begin their feeble attack…and get their asses kicked. Then, almost as if they’ve come to their senses and think “Oh, wait, I’m just a stupid horse.” they turn around, and run away. Far away. Unless a wall or something stops them, you’ll probably never see your 1000 gold worth of horse again. It will ride off into the sunset, abandoning you completely.
I don’t expect to get a super horse that will fight battles for you on it’s own and win, but at least give me the ability to tie up my damn horse while I go off dragon murdering. Or, maybe, don’t make the horse stupid enough to try and join in battle for 3 seconds before abandoning the fight and me. Maybe, just maybe, let me tie him up to a tree so he doesn’t go charging at a dragon like a moron thinking in his stupid horse brain that horse > dragon or even horse = dragon.
Edit: I just finished slaying another dragon. It happened outside of Riften near the stables and guess who decided to join the fray? One of the horses in the stable! It just started attacking the dragon without anybody on it’s back! Of course, while fighting, I accidentally ended up hitting it and BOOM! It now considers me it’s arch nemesis. It looked more like a pony actually. The most menacing pony I’ve seen to date…
F’in horses. Fix that shit, Bethesda.